Archive | January, 2012

Going Down

20 Jan

The scene: You walk into an empty elevator where someone has recently committed a fart-and-flee. Kinda gross, but you can easily breathe through your mouth on the ride down to the lobby. But of course, the elevator slows down before you’ve reached the ground level.


To your utmost horror, a pleasant-looking but headphoned twenty-something woman steps into the box and turns to face the front.

Do you say something?!

“Uhh, it smelled like shit when I got in here. Haha! Someone reeeeally must have ripped one, huh?!” This is then followed by awkward, nervous laughter that would ultimately prove to the formerly unassuming now uncomfortable passenger that you did, in fact, unapologetically butt-burp in confined quarters.

Or, you can go the stoic route, pretending nothing happened as you know that she’s silently judging you for committing such a shameful office act.

It really was a lose-lose.

Phantom elevator flatulator: 1, Dani: 0.